Overcomer

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. 

1 Corinthians 10:13

"God never gives us more than we can handle." Comforting thought, isn't it? And it's almost always the "go to" phrase people use when someone is going through a difficult time...like the death of a child. It's circulated on FaceBook almost on a daily basis. It's meant to bring comfort. It's meant to give you hope that you are, indeed, stronger than whatever affliction or circumstance that's knocked you down. In fact, I made a brief reference about that phrase in a post I published in January 2011 titled "Figuring it Out." Here's a brief overview of the "comforting cliches'" I referred to:

• "You might bend, but you won't break." Well, guess what? I broke. No, I shattered into a million pieces.
• "What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger." I died, so I guess that makes me weak.
• "It was meant to be." For whom was it "meant," may I ask? I can think of a thousand other people it should have been "meant" for: rapists, murderers, child abusers and molesters...need I go on?
• "God doesn't make mistakes." Well, of course He doesn't, which segues into the next cliche...
• "There's a purpose for everything." As much as I hate to admit it, I have to concede to this one, even though the purpose or reason isn't quite clear to me yet.

• And last but not least: "God never gives us more than we can handle." I've said it before, and I'll say it again...either I grossly underestimate my ability to handle such unspeakable pain, or God seriously overestimates it!

But you know what? I believe He does give us more than we can handle...on our own, that is. No, I am not contradicting the Bible, and I am certainly no Theologian; but I think that verse from 1 Corinthians could possibly be one of the most misconstrued and misquoted verses that has been taken out context from God's Holy Word...Scripture. 

"...And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." (translated by many as "God will never give you more than you can handle"). 

But read carefully what is written next:

"... But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

Temptation doesn't just come in the most common ways that many of you are probably thinking about right now. I am of the belief that temptation goes much deeper than that. My daughter died. Was I tempted to end my own life to be with her? Somewhere in the back of my incoherent mind...yes...I think I was. I'm not proud of it, but I'm also not ashamed to admit it. I never plotted my demise...consciously, anyway...but I did become anorexic and very ill. Was I tempted to turn away from God?  Was I tempted to give up on life and just be? The latter, yes. The former, no. But I was tempted to ignore Him; put Him in "time out," if you will. That is one temptation I absolutely caved on. I never renounced my faith...or God...nor would I. Ever. I simply shut down. 

Does God give us more than we can handle? Yes, I think so. But He also offers us the strength we need to OVERCOME. Think about it. If God only gives us things we can handle on our own, then why would we need Him at all? 

"...But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." 

What is the "way out?" God! He will try us. He will test us. Why? Because He wants us to know that we can overcome anything...with HIM. It's a test of our faith in Him...especially for Christians. It's easy to be the faithful, church-going, let-my-light-shine, hide-it-under-a-bushel, no! (Bible School days), kind of Christian when things are going our way, but when that first blow comes, followed by another and another, that's when we are tempted to give up, because maybe we feel God let us down. He really did give us more than we can handle. I mean, what's the point of believing, praying, going to church, being a "good person" if we are susceptible to the same heartaches and bad luck as everyone else? Friends, Christians are not immune to anything: crippling pain, unforeseen tragedies, life-altering circumstances that just don't make sense...or our children being taken from us much too soon. In fact, the Bible says that God does, indeed, test our faith with things that we may consider just down right cruel. And those test or tests...especially for Christians...are the hardest to overcome...on our own.

My beautiful Brittany departed this earth on July 13, 2010, at 5:10pm. Have I conquered my pain because God has provided me a way out of the temptation to throw my hands up in the air, shake my fists at the sky and scream at Him, "I'M DONE?!" No, I have not conquered my pain, nor am I healed. Brittany's absence from my life is not something that can be cured with a pill or a bandage. Our family chain is forever broken. 

I receive so many emails from people who are just beginning their walk on a road they never thought they'd find themselves on. "How do you do it," they cry? Please forgive me if this sounds a bit pious, but without God, I couldn't do it. Even in the beginning, when this nightmare began, it was God all along. I just wasn't in a frame of mind to realize it.

I'm 42 months into my journey now and I am still broken. To be honest with you, I think I always will be. I still have meltdowns, days I can't and/or won't get out of bed, days I refuse to speak to anyone and lock myself in my dark bedroom and watch Brittany's favorite movies over and over again, days I can't breathe, days when I feel like I'm still laying with her in her hospital bed, listening to the sound of her sweet, beautiful heart, and days when I'm confused and angry with God. But that's OK. If anyone understands my pain and suffering, it's Him. He gave His only Son to be brutally crucified on a cross for us, after all. But 42 months into my journey, I've also grown...both in faith and fortitude. The bad days will always be there. I've come to accept that, albeit painfully so. But I also have days where I actually leave the house, have lunch with a friend, go to the mall...and smile. And anyone who knows me well, knows what a huge step that is for me. 

Did God give me more than I can handle? Of course he did! It would be utterly ridiculous to think otherwise. My beautiful Brittany was ripped from my life! But the only way I've been able to make it this far is because of His promise to provide a way out. His promise to help me endure it. And this quest I'm on...I'm going to need all the endurance I can get. 

Will God ever give you more than you can handle? Well, that depends on you...and whether or not you choose to put your faith in Him. 

I can do all things because Christ gives me the strength. (Philippians 4:13)

I love you Brittany Erin <3