My Forever Valentine

Yesterday, February 13, was another of my "reminder" dates. This particular date was reminding me that it has been 7 months since Brittany died...at 5:10pm to be exact. And, like my other reminder dates (8 & 19), I sat with my little girl. Yesterday was different, though and I'm not sure I can articulate why.  

Despite it being rather windy in Effingham, the afternoon was actually quite pleasant. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and most importantly, the ice was melting! I couldn't stand it covering her up. It further broke my already broken heart. So, I spread out my thick blanket and got to work cleaning her up. There is a color photograph of Brittany on her stone and by the time I was finished, her blue eyes were smiling up at me as if to say, "Thanks Momma!" On most occasions when I sit with Brittany, I sob inconsolably...and yesterday was no different (the Kleenex company loves me). But after my crying ceased, instead of talking or yelling...I sat...in silence. I listened to the sound of the breeze through her wind chimes, imagining she was playing them for me. I listened to the birds happily chirping and reflected on the crackling sounds of melting, dripping snow. I stared down at her picture glimmering in the sunlight and imagined her sitting there next to me. I could almost hear her laugh. In a bittersweet gesture, I also adorned her with Valentine balloons and flowers. Brittany's heart was beautiful, selfless and loving and these tokens represent that.  My heart may be irrevocably shattered, but it will always be filled with endless love for my daughter. She's my Valentine everyday for the rest of my life...and no time or distance can sever that bond. 

Happy Valentine's Day Brittany Erin <3 I love you...forever and always...