''The Dash"

The most painful tears are not the ones that fall from your eyes and cover your face,

it's the ones that fall from your heart and cover your soul.

~author unknown

I was shopping in a small gift store today, waiting for a birthday present to be wrapped. As I waited, I began to browse around and came across a framed print called "The Dash," so I stopped to read it. And as I read, I just stood there and sobbed (and was subsequently stared at by other shoppers. Oh well...I'm used to that by now). While I'm usually the one trying to find words to express my feelings, this author (I don't recall his name) offered such beautiful and profound insight into something we normally consider just a tiny punctuation mark...the dash. But what the writer said about this seemingly insignificant little mark literally took my breath away. To put it into context, the author was speaking about someone who had died, and how that dash is normally perceived as the time from when a person is born until the day they die. But is it simply a little mark that separates those dates? The author doesn't think so, and neither do I. It's true, that little mark does, indeed, do what it's grammatically intended to do. But, like the author, if you look beyond that small dash, it signifies something much deeper. It represents more than just the dates of a person's birth and death, but it represents their life! The time they spent living between that dash...no matter how long or how short. I cried when I read it because my mind immediately focused on Brittany's dash:

July 8, 1989 - July 13, 2010.

That's 21 years and 5 days. Two decades, one year and five days of LIVING! Of LOVING! OF GIVING! OF LAUGHING! Two decades, one year and five days of MEMORIES! 

Memories of the day she was born...all 8lbs 9oz of her in an un-air conditioned German hospital, on one of the hottest days on record. Her chubby little cheeks and stunning blue eyes and long lashes. Even at birth, her eyes were extraordinary. The way she started twirling her hair like I do, when she was 8 months old, with just enough blonde strands to get her tiny finger around. She twirled her hair each day that stretched between her dash. I remember it like it was yesterday, how she would wake up each morning with rumpled blonde hair and sleepy blue eyes. Sometimes, her hair was wound so tightly around her finger, I'd have to cajole her into letting me untangle it. Even as she grew into a young woman, she still woke up each day looking like my sleepy, baby girl. First words, first tooth, first haircut (I still have that lock of hair, by the way). All memories between the dash.

Sleepovers, teen drama, boyfriends and boy 'friends' who wished they could be much more. If you know my daughter...knew, I guess...or have seen her picture, the boys were always lined up...waiting. She was extremely fickle. Another trait, courtesy of her mom. The good times and the bad. But now, reflecting on that dash, I can't seem to recall many bad times at all. I guess, in retrospect, having her absent from my life has completely eclipsed anything I might have deemed 'bad' at the time. Even the hard times seem like cherished memories now.

Like the author, I wonder about my own dash. After all, it's yet to be completed...for now, anyway. But it could be concluded at any moment. So could yours. Are there words you have left unspoken? Are there people in your life you have forgotten or neglected? Do you tell the ones you hold dearest to your heart that you love them? Have you forgiven someone who has wronged you? Are there friends you have let slip away because you are unable to bear whatever painful circumstances they are facing right now...afraid of feeling their pain?

Don't let the dates between your dash be carved in stone before it's too late. Because once it's complete...once your life is done, or the life of someone you hold dear is over...there's no going back. Don't be left wishing you had said or done something between that dash. Don't let yourself be haunted by all the "what ifs" that could have been avoided between that dash. Please remember that once your loved one's dash is complete...once your dash is complete...you won't be able to erase the final date that's been etched in stone. By then, it will be too late.

I pray, both for myself and for you, the time that spans between our dashes will truly and fully be complete. Don't let yourself learn the hard way...like I have...that life can end at any second. Let me say that again. Your life, your loved one's life, your friend's life, can be over in the blink of any eye! It happens. Somewhere...every second of every day...it happens...and you won't be given a second chance. It will be etched in stone...forever.

I love you Brittany Erin...every second between your dash...and beyond. Timelessly. <3