A Melodic Cadence

The Legacy

I loved my life and had great plans

For dreams I would pursue.

I loved to learn and loved to work,

So much for me to do.

But plans and dreams - it always seems - 

Are subject to delay

For life can bring surprises

That take us from our way.

I didn't mean to leave so soon;

So much was left undone.

We always think that later's there:

It comes with every sun.

I wanted to accomplish much,

Perhaps do something great.

And though I have now moved along

I've learned it's not too late.

My family loved me very much,

And taught me well to share.

And I am able yet to give,

Though I am not there.

There is a special part of me 

That helps someone to live.

I've done something great, you see;

I found a way to give.

So a part of me still sees the sun,

In a different way.

My legacy gives life, you see,

Each and every day.

So mourn me not, my family,

My spirit's still in you.

The lesson that you taught so well

Gives work I love to do.

I'm grateful I can help someone;

I've left a legacy,

So someone else can yet live on

With some help from me.

The work I do now helps to hold

A family together.

Keep the memory of my gift

In your hearts forever.

I hope that you find comfort

In my memory;

The work I do helps someone live,

My greatest legacy.

Copyright Daniel Mark Extron

People often ask me why my posts aren't more consistent; more timely and accordant. The reason is simple: I only write when I'm strongly compelled to do so. I try to convey what's in my heart at that particular moment, and many times my words are orchestrated by God. Obviously, that hasn't been the case for quite some time. To be completely honest, lately I've felt a little spiritually stagnated and lost...until now. And today, I feel a strong conviction in my heart, both as a mother and as a Christian, to share the following story. 

For over two years now, I've mourned the death of Brittany. To say that I'm still struggling with her absence from my daily life would be a gross understatement. However, I've been so consumed by my daughter's death and my pain that I've ignored something very profound and life changing. Something incredibly amazing: Brittany's legacy. Brittany's gift. Brittany's gift of life and second chances to others who had no hope and were running out of time. 

Yes, my little girl died. But you know what? Her heart never stopped beating! In fact, Brittany's heart still beats today...right now...at this very second. And for the first time since July 13, 2010, I was given the priceless gift of listening to the melodic cadence of the very heart that beat with mine for nine months. Only now, that heart lives inside another beautiful, remarkable, young woman. A girl who is just a year older than Brittany would be today. A coincidence? I don't believe so. God kept Brittany's heart beating for a very special reason...a reason that was beyond my comprehension at the time of her death: To give life to a very special person...handpicked by God Himself...and maybe even by Brittany. Whether it's logical or not, I like to believe that out of the over 4,700 people in Illinois alone who are waiting for a transplant...begging for a second chance at life...Brittany looked down upon this young woman and said, "Lord, I choose her!" And what a wonderful choice it was.

Before I continue though, please indulge me in a slight digression. Perhaps then, you will know as I do, that God was in control from the very beginning...

As you all know by now, Brittany was involved in a horrific car accident on her 21st birthday...July 8, 2010. The car she was riding in crossed the median and crashed head on with a semi. Here is what happened next. The following are excerpts from posts I published in the very early stages of my blog. But it's important to revisit them, because this is how Brittany was able to literally give someone life. This is where God was in control...

Guardian Angel (Published on January 27, 2011)

His name is Cory, an extraordinary young man who happened upon the accident just moments after impact. Let me retract that. Cory didn’t just “happen” upon the accident. I believe with all of my heart…and no one will ever convince me otherwise…that God placed Cory at that exact location, at that exact time, for one reason and one reason only…to save my little girl. He was her Guardian Angel. Cory pulled off the interstate and ran to their car. The driver of the semi that smashed into them just stood there and watched, not even attempting to help. I’ll never understand that. Cory reached the car and saw the devastation. At first, he didn’t see a passenger in the back seat until he noticed a head of hair (Brittany has LOTS of hair like her mother). Because of the magnitude of the crash, he was unable to access Brittany through the back doors. Instead, without a second thought about his own safety, Cory kicked off his flip flops and crawled through the mangled glass of the back windshield, slicing his foot open in the process. He called out to her and she moved…just a slight wiggle of her left pinkie...but she heard him. She wasn't alone. He reached over and detected a faint pulse. My baby was still alive...but bleeding badly from the right side of her head. Cory crawled back through the wreckage…ran to his car…and grabbed a towel. He then climbed back to Brittany and applied pressure to her head until paramedics arrived. I later learned that if it hadn’t been for Cory’s brave and selfless actions, my daughter would have died in that car, on that day, and I never would have been able to say goodbye. Yes, Cory was Brittany’s Guardian Angel. Period. Shortly thereafter, Brittany was airlifted to Carle Foundation Hospital in Champaign where she continued to fight for her life...or at least fight long enough for me to reach her...and hold her.

~

Letting Go (Published on January 29, 2011)

I held Brittany in my arms for 4 days, rarely leaving her side. The doctor's kept telling me there was no hope, but I hoped for a miracle anyway. Looking at her, it was hard to believe that she was injured as critically as she was. Despite the magnitude of the accident, Brittany was still Brittany...beautiful and perfect. Aside from all of the tubes and machines connected to her, you couldn't even tell she had been in a devastating wreck. In fact, all of her injuries were survivable...except for her head. She suffered a broken ankle, fractured hip and bruised lung. Pretty miraculous. What's even more miraculous, though, is how she stayed so perfect. Somehow, when the semi and car collided, the car wrapped around the semi in a way that protected Brittany in a little cocoon in the back seat. Another gift I believe God gave me. He kept my little girl beautiful and perfect...the way she always was...and still is in heaven, I'm sure.

~

Tragically, Brittany's boyfriend and his father were killed instantly. But not my little girl. She survived! Looking at the wreckage, no one could believe that someone actually lived through that level of devastation. State troopers, paramedics, even her team of doctors and nurses at the hospital...they all said she shouldn't have survived. But God had other plans for my little girl...plans for her heart...a heart that was always filled with love and generosity and happiness. A heart that is still filled with love and generosity and happiness. A heart that lives on...in someone else.

Out of respect for the recipient, I am not divulging her name. What I will tell you is this: She is 24. She is extraordinary. She is beautiful, intelligent, compassionate...and grateful for her second chance at life. She is also a wonderful mother to her adorable 3 year old child...a son, who turned one the very day Brittany died: July 13, 2010. Another coincidence? I think you already know my answer to that one. And while Brittany had to leave behind her sweet, little brother, Bryson...a little boy she adored like no other...God gave life to another incredible young lady...a woman who will spend the rest of her life loving and adoring her own little boy. And three weeks ago, I was given the priceless gift of spending time with both of them...something I will cherish forever. 

I won't lie. I was a train wreck of emotions leading up to our visit, as I'm sure she was, too. After all, neither of us knew how the other would react. But once I laid eyes on her, all of my fears vanished. I took one look at her beautiful face and just knew. I knew she was the one...the one handpicked by God to live and to love. We spent four emotionally filled days together. I told her all about Brittany's life and how unique our bond was. In return, the young woman told me all about her life and that of her son's. In fact, the more I learned about this girl, the more astonished I became at how much she and Brittany have in common. It was...for lack of a better word...really cool! I also learned that, had it not been for my daughter, this young woman probably wouldn't be here to today, and her son would have lost his mother. She was out of time and out of options...except for one: The miracle God was about to bestow upon her and her son. He was about to give her a second chance. And so He did...on July 15, 2010. Did you catch that? Just two days after Brittany died, God gave life to someone else. And isn't life something most everyone considers a miracle? I certainly do!

I don't feel comfortable sharing everything we talked about. It isn't very common for a donor family to meet a recipient...especially a heart recipient. The fact that we connected on such an intimate level is extremely rare, and it's something special I'd like to keep between just the two of us. For now, anyway. 

Before our visit concluded, we sat on a quiet dock by the ocean...and with her permission...she allowed me to listen to Brittany's heart through a stethoscope...the melodic cadence of a heart that once beat with mine. But that melody plays for someone else now. By far, it was the second hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life...but I'm glad I did. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is what Brittany wanted. And...as always...she got her way. Brittany was strong and beautiful and I will never be able to adequately express how proud I am of her. And the recipient...she is also a beautiful, strong girl...and I'm proud of her, too. This hasn't been easy for her, either. She confided in me that she feels guilty. I tried to comfort her and make her realize she doesn't need to feel guilty. My daughter couldn't be saved...but this young mother could...and she was! I know that makes Brittany smile. And when she smiles, I smile, too. And now it's this girl's time to smile! I want her to know that she deserves it!

Right or wrong, I will always feel like a part of that heart belongs to me, because, by the grace of God, He chose ME to nurture Brittany's heart and give it life. Our hearts will always be connected in some way. But now, God has chosen someone else to nurture it...to make it her own and to give it life. I wasn't able to see all of my own little girl's dreams come true. So, I earnestly pray that this remarkable, young woman will embrace life and follow her own dreams. I want her to soar. I want her to live! I don't want my daughter's death to have meant nothing. It must have a purpose! And it will. This amazing girl and I have a blooming friendship now...a connection...that will last a lifetime. And I will never be able to thank her enough for finding the courage to welcome me into her life. I know it wasn't easy. And I want her to know that it's her heart now. It was a gift. And it's not returnable...because it's a perfect fit. I have so much respect and affection for this girl. I admire her courage and strength and fortitude. She's amazing. And I'm proud of her.

And so my friends, this was no random act by the universe. It wasn't fate. It wasn't luck. It was GOD. How can anyone see it otherwise? Revisit the facts: the accident; the miracle of Brittany surviving when doctors couldn't figure out how; the perfection of Brittany's organs...Brittany's heart...despite the magnitude of the wreckage; Brittany holding on long enough...not just for me, but for this wonderful young mother. These are miracles! And miracles only come from God. 

So thank you, Lord, for blessing me with the priceless gift of being Brittany's mother...and for the miracle of the new life You've given this beautiful young woman. Thank you for the wonderful Christian people...people I now consider dear friends...that  you have placed in my life because of Brittany's gift. (You know who you are...and I love you both so much). May You, oh Lord, be glorified through it all. 

~

No one will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.

I love you Brittany Erin...timelessly.